Confession Time

First confession: I did not read Mindset by Carol Dweck, PH. D. until last week.  Yes, I know it came out over nine years ago.   I can’t give you a reason why it has not been on my list until now.  I am glad I read it, but I came to an awful realization which leads me my second confession.

Second Confession: As I read the book, I came to realize I do not have a growth mindset, yet.  This isn’t to say that I didn’t praise students and my children for effort and work ethic. I’ve always believed that intelligence is flexible.  I like to believe that I help nurture the growth mindset in others.

As I was reading the book as they described the fixed mindset person.  I felt like Carol knew me personally.  (Yes, I know I should call her Dr. Dweck, but it’s like she was reading my grade school diary.)  I was that student who everything came easy.  My identity was the smart one.  High school was a rude awakening.  I went to a school where everyone was the smart one at their old school.  I coped by not trying and procrastinating.  My B average was good, but I always said I could have done better if I tried.  This attitude continued through college.

I did figure out that hard work should pay off so I work hard.  Unfortunately it took me a while to figure out what happens when it doesn’t pay off.  It rocks my world.  I can describe the time I worked out hard, ate right and the scale did not budge.  Ben and Jerry’s became a close friend for a portion of time.  I have many other examples of this sort of behavior. I’d like to think I am getting better at when things don’t work out.  I use my analytical skills and create a plan B or C.

Here’s my last step to changing my mindset is my conversation with myself.  I judge myself.  I blame myself for setbacks.  My self talk is appalling.  I would not tolerate anyone to talk to me the way I talk to myself.  I can guarantee that some of the things I judge myself on, no one even notices.  I make assumptions that everyone else is noticing that the copy is not perfectly straight or I gained a little weight.

So yes…I may not have completely shifted my mindset YET, but it is coming.  I will be brave and begin to not judge myself so harshly.  The reasons to embrace this mindset is many.  I ask teachers every day to open their classrooms to other teachers to grow and learn.  I want student to see that the outcome is not fixed, but they have the opportunity to grow everyday.  I want my children to not be afraid of mistakes.  In order to accomplish any of these things.  I need to change my mindset.

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