A few weeks ago I was coaching a teacher at the same time I was being coached by another coach. Our feedback session of my coaching brought up a need. I jumped right in and tried to solve his “problem.” Of course, this is not an effective way to coach. I know this and this is not what I try to do. I fell into a trap because I stopped listening for understanding and started listening for my response.
I relate this story to you because on Thursday a teacher leader related an area of concern and I jumped right in started to tell her how we would solve it together. I thought it about it the next day and quickly sent a note to let her that I just want to listen and help her reflect what happened.
Then yesterday, I was voxing without truly listening in the way I usually do. I just wanted share where I was at instead of listening to add value to others.
Then last night, I was reading Good Leaders Ask Great Questions by John Maxwell. He also talked about his challenges with listenings. I realized that his list consists of my three areas of need. I listen because I want to respond and say my piece. I interrupt and I want to hear only the things that reflect my vision. What to do about this?
I am setting a goal to listen more effectively. I will start by being quiet and not interrupting. I will try to add value to that person and not try to make myself look better. I will request the honest feedback instead of framing the feedback.